Tonight’s my last night of summer. Bear’s, too. We start back at work and school tomorrow morning, me for two days of prep and professional development before the kids arrive on Wednesday, but Bear us being thrust full-force into classed tomorrow morning. First day of second grade.
Second. Grade. When the ever-loving fuck did that happen?
I’m grateful to have had the summer off, even if it was nothing that I hadn’t wanted it to be — I imagined structure, and adventure, and weekend trips. And we did sort of get that at the beginning — we had a beach trip, sleepover, a day at the museum, bike riding — but I had severely under-estimated how utterly Kira would be taken out by surgery, and how massively overwhelmed I would be.
The entire second half of the summer was stagnating housework, with me doing exactly as much as I needed to do to keep my head above water while trying to tend to Kira, who for the first couple of weeks was basically immobile. The house suffered massively as a result, putting me further and further behind.
I did spend the last two days recovering from quite a bit of it all; I did something like five loads of laundry, handwashed almost all the dishes in the house, vaccuumed, took out four or five bags of trash, sorted all the recycling, etc. I am in literal physical pain right now, and I still have to vaccuum the living room, but if someone were to pop in right now, I wouldn’t feel embarrassed to let them see the house. That’s a massive improvement.
I’m excited for structure, for seeing people, for having a schedule. I’m excited to be able to structure my life, to return to pole classes, to have weekends be available (now that Kira is well into recovery) and meaningful again.
The summer wasn’t all for naught; I imagine if I had to work this summer I would have been absolutely drowning, so as bad as it was in some spots, it would have undoubtedly been worse. And I did do a lot of art — six or seven digital paintings! — made two sales, and reached Partner on Medium. That feels incredibly good, especially after being away from writing for so long, to be writing again and actually be earning some money from it (even if it is mere cents right now. Have to start somewhere, right?)
For all parents, students, and educators getting back to school this week — remember to get a good night’s rest, stay hydrated, and stay safe.
Take care of yourselves and each other.
All Your Crooked Heart 