2/8/23: Unblocked

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Ok. but let’s pretend the accompanying image is a metaphor — each of those boxes represent a responsibility or expectation foisted upon me by the unrelenting realities of adult life, and there I am, struggling beneath the burden of them all.

That’s how I’ve felt for the last three weeks. And there’s no real end in sight, people.

Well… June, I suppose. The end of the academic year is going to alleviate a fair number of said burdens, and knowing I can take the summer off with intention is a freedom I’ve never actually known, so I am looking forward to that. But the road there is long and feels endless as I’m walking it.

Art has been hard. Not bad, per se, but hard. I’ve finished three digital paintings “for myself” (i.e., I may sell prints in the future, but they were not created with the intent of a particular project or publication), and wrapped up — finally! — my final piece for the Fandom for Choice zine. I’ve got five (or six?) zine apps out in the ether that I am awaiting word on. It’s only been in the last few days that I really started gaining momentum with art again, after taking some time off post-Arisia, but I’m at least beginning to feel like I’m in a good place again.

Writing is harder. I’ve not been able to organize my thoughts into anything cohesive enough for publication for weeks and weeks now, even though I’m not giving up and have been keeping a running record of essay ideas that I hope to be able to commit to paper soon.

Stress is a bitch — stress is one hundo percent why I have been stalling out so hardcore with everything (including my household responsibilities and chores, by the way, which of course only makes me more stressed). I’ve never learned how to really cope with acute stress, save to wait out the stressor, but — whoo boy — waiting it out until June would sure be a hell of a thing, huh?

The best I’ve been able to manage lately is throwing myself head first and full-speed into self-indulgent comfort media, so on that note, let me end by offering you one of my favorite YouTube teams, and a video that made me laugh harder than I have in a while:

In conclusion, stay tuned for updates on hopeful zine acceptances, and remember — we are all Merobiba.

Take care of yourselves, and each other.

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