Shit, have I really gone more than three weeks without an update?
What can I say? The world is a shitshow, and I — as a uterus-possessing, queer, nonbinary neurodivergent educator — am angry.
But I’m also ready to fight. And fighting is gonna look different for everyone. For me, it’s going to be finding community, making art, and using that art to spread awareness, raise money, and mobilize.
But I’ve also gotta take care of myself, too.
We’re closing on a house a week from today. Exciting, I know. I’ve been on an art hiatus since November, amidst all the craziness in both the world and my personal life (in terms of a relentless onslaught of crises at work and the stress of coordinating the buying/selling of a house — don’t worry, my personal life is in good shape, it’s just stressful at the moment) and I’m looking forward to having the time and space and emotional energy to work on art again.
In the wake of all the chaos around me, I am trying to find what works for me as self-care.
★ Doing morning pages/brain dumping has been wonderful. I have a tabbed and annotated Google doc that I treat like a commonplace book. I keep lists of the books I’m reading, household projects I want to work on, to-do lists, and all manner of venting, rambling, tea spilling, and it has been — a game changer in some ways. Just getting everything out of my head in the mornings has made the rest of the day go so much more smoothly.
★ Taking a multivitamin and actually drinking 64 ounces of water a day, which has made such an impact on my energy levels, I can’t even tell you. The last several days, I didn’t even consume my customary second caffeinated beverage of the day, and I didn’t get my equally customary caffeine withdrawal headache…! Is it possible what I had been assuming was pure caffeine withdrawal might actually have been, at least in part, chronic dehydration???
★ Making time to read and language learn again. This time I’m focusing on Esperanto, and reading speculative fiction by queer and female authors. It’s been going great. I’ve already read four books this year, but that’s another story for another day. Just doing something for me that’s not focused on producing, that doesn’t expect something out of me, but is just something to take in, to tickle my brain and expand my mind a bit while I sit in the comfort of my living room after dinner has been rewarding.
★ Doing A Million Things…, which yes, maybe I should have been a little more generous with the time allotted, given how crazy my schedule has been lately. Still, I plug away. Still, I stagger onwards. All we can ever really do, right? I genuinely enjoy puttering away at my embroidery sampler, and I bet I’ll enjoy it even more when I have a dedicated space in which to do it.
I hope you find those things that make you feel cared for. I hope you and yours are safe. I hope you and yours find peace amongst yourself, strength amongst your community, comfort in the arms of one another, and a renewed energy to fight.
Take care of yourselves, and each other.
All Your Crooked Heart 